The demise of the office Xmas party!

Casper · 27-11-2005, 07:46 AM

December 1 Memo

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 1
RE: Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party
will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the
banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No host bar,
but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing
traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't Be
surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!

December 2 Memo

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 2
RE: Christmas Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our
Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an
important holiday which often coincides with Christmas,
though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on
we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy
applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this
time.

Happy now?

December 3 Memo

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 3
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics
Anonymous requesting a nondrinking table ... you didn't
sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but
if I put a sign on a table that reads "AA Only" you
wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle
this? Somebody?

December 7 Memo

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 7
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse company we are! I had no idea that December
2 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids
eating, drinking and sex during daylight hours. There goes
the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon
this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim
employees' beliefs. Perhaps Luigi's can hold off on
serving your meal until the end of the party the days
are so short this time of year or else package
everything for takehome in little foil swans. Will that
work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Overeaters
Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and
pregnant women will get the table closest to the
restrooms. Did I miss anything?

December 8 Memo

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 8
RE: Holiday Party

So December 22 marks the Winter Solstice...what do you
expect me to do, a tapdance on your heads? Fire
regulations at Luigi's prohibit the burning of sage by our
"earthbased Goddessworshipping" employees, but we'll try
to accommodate your shamanic drumming circle during the
band's breaks. Okay???

December 9 Memo

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 9
RE: Holiday Party

People, people, nothing sinister was intended by having
our CEO dress up like Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of
"Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil
connotation to our own "little man in a red suit." It's a
tradition, folks, like sugar shock at Halloween or family
feuds over the Thanksgiving turkey or broken hearts on
Valentine's Day. Could we lighten up?

December 10 Memo

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 10
RE: Holiday Party

Vegetarians!?!?!? I've had it with you people!!! We're
going to keep this party at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue
whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the
table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so
quaintly put it, and you'll get your freaking salad bar,
including hydroponic tomatoes. But you know, they have
feelings too. Tomatoes scream when you slice them. I've
heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right now!

December 14 Memo

FROM: Teri Bishops, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: December 14
RE: Pat Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pat Lewis a
speedy recovery from her stress related illness and I'll
continue to forward your cards to her at the sanatorium.

In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our
Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd
off with full pay.

We hope that this change does not offend anyone.

**Falcon Coupe** · 27-11-2005, 08:09 AM

The sad thing is, there's a lot of truth in that.

PH47 · 27-11-2005, 08:10 AM

Hahahah that's classic.. wouldn't be suprised if that's happened at a few places the way things have been lately!

Falcon Freak · 27-11-2005, 08:52 AM

This will not happen in Australia.

FF

Feathers · 27-11-2005, 10:20 AM

My work hasn't had a christmas party for the last 2 years...

Psycho Chicken · 27-11-2005, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Falcon Freak

This will not happen in Australia.

FF

Want a bet? Schools are already copping flak for having nativy plays. Shopping centres will be next for having Santa visits no doubt.

b2tf · 27-11-2005, 10:29 AM

ahhh events management - just like that. makes you wonder why anybody does it

:

Falcon Freak · 27-11-2005, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psycho Chicken

Want a bet? Schools are already copping flak for having nativy plays. Shopping centres will be next for having Santa visits no doubt.

Yes I do. Winter Solstice doesn't occur in Australia on the 22nd of December.

FF

Casper · 27-11-2005, 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Falcon Freak

Yes I do. Winter Solstice doesn't occur in Australia on the 22nd of December.

FF

Its a joke. Maybe, if you want to be really anal, you can swap the words winter for summer then!

:

27-11-2005, 10:52 AM

haha..thats funny.

If i was to be anal...Id have to point out, Ramadan ended about 3 weeks ago(i should know, i suffered through the fasting)

I work in both the private sector full time, and as contractor in the Public sector(ATO), and I will be attending christmas parties for both places.

Best thing about work christmas parties...is realizing, how wrong you were about which of your work mates could handle the grog best, and second secret santas...

ltd · 27-11-2005, 10:53 AM

Sounds like Clover Moore's christmas.

Ramadan, I'd hate to be the fellow called Dan.

Bossxr8 · 27-11-2005, 11:47 AM

We can't have Christmas break ups at work as too many people want to beat each others heads in. Last one was 6 years ago and there was about 5 punch ons.

**Charliewool** · 27-11-2005, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bossxr8

We can't have Christmas break ups at work as too many people want to beat each others heads in. Last one was 6 years ago and there was about 5 punch ons.

HaHaHa!
We avoid this by now having ours at Moonee Valley Tabaret for a trots night. (Let them destroy their venue!)
Seriously though... A top night out, fantastic food, great view, & pretty reasonably priced.

MO · 27-11-2005, 10:23 PM

WHAT the hell is going on this is OZ...and we will practice our beliefs...to hell with minorities trying to take our beliefs and values away from us.

They came here seeking a better life...well don't force your beliefs down our throats...by all means practice your beliefs...as we accept yours YOU should accept ours...if you don't like it...then go back to whence you came!!!!!!!!!

gtfpv · 28-11-2005, 12:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John McMaster

WHAT the hell is going on this is OZ...and we will practice our beliefs...to hell with minorities trying to take our beliefs and values away from us.

They came here seeking a better life...well don't force your beliefs down our throats...by all means practice your beliefs...as we accept yours YOU should accept ours...if you don't like it...then go back to whence you came!!!!!!!!!

these days they don't come here seeking a better life . they come here to make us like them.

luke · 28-11-2005, 12:59 AM

I just hope this thread doesn't turn racial, it's too funny to be deleted lol.