Depression, Anxiety

[Madaya]

Mates. I may have mentioned it before, but let me lay down a few facts...
Alcohol was not the cause of the demise of my marriage.
I gave up the grog, with out temptation or anxiety, for the year before my marriage ended. I never drank no more than our friends but always copped the hammer, so felt relieved that I didn't drink.
Marriage ended several years ago, and I started to drink again.
In a phone call with the dragon on an unrelated subject - her still yelling at me - aggressive, I asked "****, I wish things where better between us".
Don't forget, this was several years after divorce...
She said, "You where always drunk".
I said, "**** If you remember, I was sober for the last year for our marriage".
She said "Bull****".
Well, there you go. All my mates will back me up on this, sick and tired of putting up with Mr Soda Water Man.
I like people pointing out my sins or failures, it gives me something to work on and fix. But my ex accused me of (fill in the blank) just because she could.
Hence, now, grog is easy. But AA is my friend.
They are brilliant.

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by Madaya

Mates. I may have mentioned it before, but let me lay down a few facts...
Alcohol was not the cause of the demise of my marriage.
I gave up the grog, with out temptation or anxiety, for the year before my marriage ended. I never drank no more than our friends but always copped the hammer, so felt relieved that I didn't drink.
Marriage ended several years ago, and I started to drink again.
In a phone call with the dragon on an unrelated subject - her still yelling at me - aggressive, I asked "****, I wish things where better between us".
Don't forget, this was several years after divorce...
She said, "You where always drunk".
I said, "**** If you remember, I was sober for the last year for our marriage".
She said "Bull****".
Well, there you go. All my mates will back me up on this, sick and tired of putting up with Mr Soda Water Man.
I like people pointing out my sins or failures, it gives me something to work on and fix. But my ex accused me of (fill in the blank) just because she could.
Hence, now, grog is easy. But AA is my friend.
They are brilliant.

it never stops from bemusing me, how i (we) try so hard to prove we can better ourselves, that it makes people blind. the more i suggest a better way of living for my mother... ie Bpa, online grocery shopping, sliding wardrobe doors for easier wheelchair access, new carpet and bedroom suit to lift the what life she has mostly spent in bed, i get called a spendthrift or she denies me evervsuggesting, as she wants to die with the $20,000 she has saved (from tax payers mind you, not hard earned cash) , in the bank. this gets my anxieties roaring so much that i am prepared to put her in a home and move on, terrible that loved ones can cause you to abandon all morals, all that is good in a person because theyvare blind to your cause, you are fighting a good fight and I FOR ONE, SUPPORT YOUR EFFORTS, 'EAR 'EAR 'ERES TO YOU MATE

[TheSneakiness]

Originally Posted by Madaya

Mates. I may have mentioned it before, but let me lay down a few facts...
Alcohol was not the cause of the demise of my marriage.
I gave up the grog, with out temptation or anxiety, for the year before my marriage ended. I never drank no more than our friends but always copped the hammer, so felt relieved that I didn't drink.
Marriage ended several years ago, and I started to drink again.
In a phone call with the dragon on an unrelated subject - her still yelling at me - aggressive, I asked "****, I wish things where better between us".
Don't forget, this was several years after divorce...
She said, "You where always drunk".
I said, "**** If you remember, I was sober for the last year for our marriage".
She said "Bull****".
Well, there you go. All my mates will back me up on this, sick and tired of putting up with Mr Soda Water Man.
I like people pointing out my sins or failures, it gives me something to work on and fix. But my ex accused me of (fill in the blank) just because she could.
Hence, now, grog is easy. But AA is my friend.
They are brilliant.

I can only remember twice where I had gotten really angry with my ex but other than that I do know what caused the turn in my thoughts and I am fixing that now since my last post. Things are good between us again however she did have counselling today so who knows the thought processes currently.

As long as I'm not thinking black I'm good.

[BLUEYBA]

Just hang in there whatever your situation is. Struggling abit at the moment myself after a long long time of no issues and feeling great. But I'm nowhere is as low as I use to be which is a positive and it shows me that I still have to work on some issues that I thought I could deal with. Just a speed hump in my journey in overcoming this illness. I am determined to get there and no go backwards. It doesn't control me I am going to control it

[Tui2]

yes you are right, but it gives me a run for my bloody money, as you said blueyba, not giving in this time,, this time round I'm looking at the bouts of depression as an old friend come to visit but unfortunately i can't let him stay long or I'll slip Back into our old ways when we used to throw caution to the wind, but these days its more ahout keeping the missus-aka my mind happy in a healthy relationship. thanks Blue good timing and appreciate all who do give constructive reminders. keep well all

[Tui2]

she is still doing/getting what she wants at the expense of others.

1.my #3 father was not religious

(#1=biological father, #2=adopter father, #3=step father)

2. mum arranged and held the funeral at the church in the ex orphanage that my #2 father was an orphaned and grew up in, where she met #2 and where they got married, where they baptised me, where my confirmation was held, where i baptised my son at, where my #3 father had nothing to do with except biannually whipper snip around my #2fathers grave stone as deman...ah....requested by mum.

3.family were not included in any of the funeral decissions

4.mum used 3500 of his 8000 to pay for his departure

5.she held the wake at pub that he never drank at (my sisters taking over and requested that everyone relocate to the RSL he WAS a lifetime member at and then allowing the chance for his step daughter & granddaughter to display this video photo album they worked so hard on off what photos i could find of him as mum hid all of his albums when she first heard of their idea. i found these late yesterday.

6. how did i find them.? because for the first time ever i was home alone, why? because i was so depressed/ashamed/disgusted/embarrassed/nauseated/F'N ANGRY at her, that i could not go to my step fathers funeral out of respect for what dignity he wokd of had left knowing what a selfishly arranged funeral mum had given him, because i knew that, in no way, i would of been able to prevent an I.E.D event from ruining the day (re why i avoid xmas post).

7. from here on she will not be getting her way, i will not be resonsible fir her care, and i definitely do not give one iota what happens to her from her on, as i write i her crying poor mouth to herself as she crashes around the kitchen in her electric chair getting her own breakfast.. this is the saddest thing , that any mother could make her children despise her so much that it comes down to this in the end. my sisters have agreed to cone and check on her fr lunch, dinner,meds and put her to bed, i will continue to wash clothes , cook and clean house as this i do for myself anyway. but i will not stay in the same room as her one more day. thankyou for allwing me to vent this as i dont see psychiatrist fo 2weeks but have my rescheduled Dialectical Behavioural Therapy course acceptance interview next Wednesday. .. be needing THAT now. keep well all

so depressed now. over being angry that just kept me awake all night,

[Junkyard-Dog]

Well I don't know if this is the right place for this but atm nowhere seems like the right place.

Last night my ex hanged herself and apparently I was in her "final letter." The only way I can describe my feelings is: a rollercoaster of emotions. When people came to my front door and I first heard, I smashed my door off the hinges so now I have a broken front door too. Wasn't thinking just did it out of raw emotion.

FML.

[Junkyard-Dog]

I don't know what to do. I know that as bad as I feel atm, other people feel worse and times will get worse for everybody. I just don't know what to do.

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by Junkyard-Dog

I don't know what to do. I know that as bad as I feel atm, other people feel worse and times will get worse for everybody. I just don't know what to do.

mate you sure copped a smack in gob with that visit, i would like to send you a pm if you are comfortable with sharing more info about this? either way i can tell you this, one thing you have done here in this thread, is highten my awarness of how my actions of (twice my attempts were intervened) suicide can so unpredictably affect others. so theres a tic in ya Pro column.

keep talking it out mate, because no matter how screwy we may seem in this thread, one thing we all have in common is compassion and support for each other, no need to go it alone
if you dont want,

[Junkyard-Dog]

Trejo, I really appreciate your offer mate but atm I think it would be like pouring salt into the wound. The time will come to talk it out but I am not there yet.

I'm not very well right now, have been feeling absolutely terrible since Saturday night. Not only psychologically but physically. Now I've decided to take a break and go camping/fishing by myself.

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by Junkyard-Dog

Trejo, I really appreciate your offer mate but atm I think it would be like pouring salt into the wound. The time will come to talk it out but I am not there yet.

I'm not very well right now, have been feeling absolutely terrible since Saturday night. Not only psychologically but physically. Now I've decided to take a break and go camping/fishing by myself.

tis why i asked first, in this field you absolutely do not asume anyone is feeling, handling, wanting, needing or relying on what you feel or say, ask with respect and asure the circumstances do not influence the support that will always be waiting. good fighting, and good fishing, catch some serenity for me too.

[Tui2]

a page from Trials N Tribulations of Trejo the Over Sharing Sensitively Erratic Revelator
aka the Dynamic (TNT) ******

Chapter 20; HEAT EXCHANGE
mum and her latest attempt at manipulating her plaything, me, with a virus and playing? it to full sympathy and broadway ethos, so i would lose it and leave, hence at least the eldest of siblings will have to come see her to feed and nappy change, (to comfort would be a stretch of even her imagination).
act 1 ) ☆moaning and incoherent response to medication or sustenance requirement questions. × phone call for her.. has to be coherent enough 9to answer her Soap Opera Love Sharing Pen/Phone Pal, the lady next door.(yes even living next door to mother can not give a person reason to visit her)

act 2) ☆when i come into her room, pretend you didn't get time enough to hide something under the bed sheets without me noticing (hiding money is a good way of saying i dont trust you son, that will definitely push one of the buttons i installed in him)
× he didn't take the bait so I'll have to explain the actions falsified excuse i.e" what? i was scratching myself" oh hell! i said that to coherently. xx i still didn't bite ( the money i discovered the next day when after a laxative powder (her regular morning ritual that she had been refusing to support the meal and med refusals) which forced her to be got out of bed so i could change her linen.
3 50 dollar notes.

3rd and final act) the feverish temerature but ambulance refusal plead, ☆she did seem very hot, but the thermometer was oddly missing. x didn't count on her son calling the after hours house doctor service on a Sunday, nor expect to have a Thermo Gun
fired at her head when the doc did arrive, revelation of the climax. (PLEASE I AM IN NO WAY RACIST . STEREO TYPICALLY RACIAL IN SETTING THE SCENE FOR COMEDIC EFFECT, yes)

ME: "so doc I'll call the ambulance now as she is definitely burning up?
The Indian born aussie DOC: (coming from under her sheets/nightie)" well my mate, i be saying that if the possibility of Heat Pads number of 5 on the behind and also much blankets over her did not factor, then yes hurry call ambulance!
though a temperature of 37.5° is never concerning me."

yes ladies and gentlemen , as in stage theatricsa, a plot and climax is often displayed brilliantly by the props department, therefor the oscar for original
ity in prop production goes to Gwen with special acknowledgement to the productivity of Heetteze Heat Pads

to be continued...

[redxm]

Been reading this thread from the start. Time to step up and have a bit of a vent.
Ive had the hamburger with the works for at least the last 15 years. Depression, anxiety, PTSD, bit of OCD, panic attacks. What has topped me off lately is the Old Man lost his short battle with lung cancer on the 1st of June. Funny how things like this bring the **** out in relatives. Me and the bride, brother and his witch and Mum all sat around the table and decided we wouldnt put anything on twitbook as I think its too un-personal.
Didnt even get to the end of the street on the way home, the witch sends me a text saying she has posted about the old man. followed by 100 of her friends posting, oh you poor dear' and so on. none of who went to the funeral anyways
Funeral day comes around and the brother turns up with Dads medals on his suit. I get the replicas. Mind you Im the oldest. No I wont say anything, will only upset mother.
When the dust settles I mention to Mum about the medals, she agrees that I should have them and will mention to brother. That was 6 weeks ago. nothing, nada, zip
off to see the shrink tomorrow. at least the new tablets are helping with the anxiety

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by redxm

Been reading this thread from the start. Time to step up and have a bit of a vent.
Ive had the hamburger with the works for at least the last 15 years. Depression, anxiety, PTSD, bit of OCD, panic attacks. What has topped me off lately is the Old Man lost his short battle with lung cancer on the 1st of June. Funny how things like this bring the **** out in relatives. Me and the bride, brother and his witch and Mum all sat around the table and decided we wouldnt put anything on twitbook as I think its too un-personal.
Didnt even get to the end of the street on the way home, the witch sends me a text saying she has posted about the old man. followed by 100 of her friends posting, oh you poor dear' and so on. none of who went to the funeral anyways
Funeral day comes around and the brother turns up with Dads medals on his suit. I get the replicas. Mind you Im the oldest. No I wont say anything, will only upset mother.
When the dust settles I mention to Mum about the medals, she agrees that I should have them and will mention to brother. That was 6 weeks ago. nothing, nada, zip
off to see the shrink tomorrow. at least the new tablets are helping with the anxiety

i like Tamworth 😢 i don't think I'd like your sibling as i can't see much difference in him or mine. COME ON PEOPLE CUT THE SELFISHNESS AND GET SELFLESS starting with family, why we can't communicate/compromise when it comes to our loved ones feelings is sending us back into the dark ages. keep ya head high knowing your dad will be proud of you respecting his funeral as i dont know if you read my funeral post but due to my disorders unpredictability, to resect my fathers funeral i had to avoid going because of selfishness.
keep up the good fight

[Tui2]

well it's official, i have my life back and are feeling a bit lost, sad but happy, glad but sorry that the ICAC team concluded mums health assessment with the fact she now needs 24hr care and have placed her in respite until we siblings decide on the nursing home which we narrowed down to just one, so far, that we were all satisfied with.
im still in the dining room-turned my bedroom, under the table as I'm a bit overwhelmed with a whole house to myself. weird. thought I'd be happier, i think once i sell mum's hospital bed with electric pump adjusted air/inner foam matrress and rip up carpet, polish floor boards and buy a tall boy etc I'll feel better about taking over , in fact i recieved my first COUNCIL RATES bill today, that was the first bill in 50 years that made me feel human/proud, bloody emotionally worn though and was very depressed a few days ago, had to call for support , my faultvas I've been forgetting my meds, have alarms everywhere around house but by the time i make it to the sink, ive forgotten why i was there, so much so i found my meds on floor in front of sink this morning when i woke, brain seems to be deteriorating or maybe its just been too much responsibility and stress tye last few months?
keep well all

[BLUEYBA]

Originally Posted by Trejo

well it's official, i have my life back and are feeling a bit lost, sad but happy, glad but sorry that the ICAC team concluded mums health assessment with the fact she now needs 24hr care and have placed her in respite until we siblings decide on the nursing home which we narrowed down to just one, so far, that we were all satisfied with.
im still in the dining room-turned my bedroom, under the table as I'm a bit overwhelmed with a whole house to myself. weird. thought I'd be happier, i think once i sell mum's hospital bed with electric pump adjusted air/inner foam matrress and rip up carpet, polish floor boards and buy a tall boy etc I'll feel better about taking over , in fact i recieved my first COUNCIL RATES bill today, that was the first bill in 50 years that made me feel human/proud, bloody emotionally worn though and was very depressed a few days ago, had to call for support , my faultvas I've been forgetting my meds, have alarms everywhere around house but by the time i make it to the sink, ive forgotten why i was there, so much so i found my meds on floor in front of sink this morning when i woke, brain seems to be deteriorating or maybe its just been too much responsibility and stress tye last few months?
keep well all

Hi
It will take time to adjust and fill your life with new things. You haven't had this freedom before so it can be overwhelming. Give yourself time and you will get on top of things. You just have to get your new routine.

[Tui2]

very down.. but still i cannot bring myself to visit Gwendoline (my mum) the things that my sisters have waited to tell me for such a long time for the right moment to tell me of the horrendous action's of mum towards me and my biological father,,, well it all puts my disorder in perspective as to why i am. but that was the past, mum also had a terrible upbringing , no excuse for her actions just reason as to why . anyway my father did try to fight for me and none of the stories that made him out a monster to me told by mum were true, she cheated me out of a life that i knew i belonged to as the only 2 memories i have under the age of 5 were happy ones with my biological dad, one of them was an accident in his HR holden which he tried to give me with my grandfathers initials number plates on it (same initials as mine if mum didnt illegally change my name) at the age of 14 (i hadn't seen him since i was 7, i now know why) but mum sold it to the local hoodlums causing my father months of anguish trying to get his fathers personalised number plates back. i was dissociative from an early age (blank stares, incoherence etc) when faced with any conflict progressing into trauma tantrums to major anxiety all through high school, but turned into uncontrollable rages by 19. until the day something inside me broke, been depressed ever since. the rest is history / my story where i look forward to happy moments that don't have a catch to em. keep well all, dont play with ya meds, take em the same time every day, and with exercise and support you'll fight to keep the pschosis away. get away ,! get gooo..go on off with ya ... who said that?

[Spudz27]

I am not sure if I have posted previously but have suffered depression as long as I remember. I have attempted suicide once and went out in my car 3-4yrs ago with the intention of doing trying again. Weekly I wonder if I should just end it, but for whatever reason I don't go past the thought. It sucks, one day I am king of the world with all these aspirations, the next minute I could nearly cry. Yesterday I made the decision to quit my job and study allied health as for some reason I can help others but not myself. It is a huge step giving up a wage, we are by no means well off, but the course only comes round once every few years and at 33 I am at a time in life where I do something good with my life and get into a growing industry that interests me or stay a retail pleb. This morning I am lying here saying **** it, it is all too hard. My current job the business was sold and I have gone from manager to pleb, the stress of that change with everything else, saw me rage at my new boss and I mean rage, is a long story what triggered it but I was blamed for something that was his responsibility and it was enough for me to go mental at him. He has walked in and pushed me aside, changing the whole structure doesn't value or care for my input but asks weirdly, cut my hours etc. I had been thinking of allied health before the change but felt guilty leaving my old boss in the lurch and feel guilty if I quit on my new boss as without me the business will fail as they actually know nothing about the industry or how to operate the business but it feels time for me to move on for me. I am not on meds and refuse to be and every time I see phsyc, they tell me they get paid for nothing as they can't tell me anything I don't know, often they say I should be one lol. But although I know what to do to help myself I never seem able to implement it. I spend money to be happy which causes issues and I always regret it. Getting married in oct and have not saved a ******* cent. I am at a loss and unless I can figure out a way to help myself, I am ******.

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by Spudz27

I am not sure if I have posted previously but have suffered depression as long as I remember. I have attempted suicide once and went out in my car 3-4yrs ago with the intention of doing trying again. Weekly I wonder if I should just end it, but for whatever reason I don't go past the thought. It sucks, one day I am king of the world with all these aspirations, the next minute I could nearly cry. Yesterday I made the decision to quit my job and study allied health as for some reason I can help others but not myself. It is a huge step giving up a wage, we are by no means well off, but the course only comes round once every few years and at 33 I am at a time in life where I do something good with my life and get into a growing industry that interests me or stay a retail pleb. This morning I am lying here saying **** it, it is all too hard. My current job the business was sold and I have gone from manager to pleb, the stress of that change with everything else, saw me rage at my new boss and I mean rage, is a long story what triggered it but I was blamed for something that was his responsibility and it was enough for me to go mental at him. He has walked in and pushed me aside, changing the whole structure doesn't value or care for my input but asks weirdly, cut my hours etc. I had been thinking of allied health before the change but felt guilty leaving my old boss in the lurch and feel guilty if I quit on my new boss as without me the business will fail as they actually know nothing about the industry or how to operate the business but it feels time for me to move on for me. I am not on meds and refuse to be and every time I see phsyc, they tell me they get paid for nothing as they can't tell me anything I don't know, often they say I should be one lol. But although I know what to do to help myself I never seem able to implement it. I spend money to be happy which causes issues and I always regret it. Getting married in oct and have not saved a ******* cent. I am at a loss and unless I can figure out a way to help myself, I am ******.

mate i don't pretend to be an expert this area, no need to pretend, i AM this area, now its your business who you see for therapy, but you sound very much within the boundaries of my disorder a BPDER beepeedee'er , Borderline Personality Disorder, note this title is still being debated after decades of not understanding and unable to successfully treat 40+% of sufferers, this is an overlapping disorder depending on many factors, ,main content causes are neurological, cerebral damage in or out the womb, but mostly undiagnosed and/or treated childhood trauma. .be it sexual, physical or as in my case, manipulated by a mildly incestuous overbaring parent who thrives on lifting and downing their childs physical and mental esteem ., to the point of co-dependancy between both. whilst more than often displaying childhood symptoms of OCD/ADHD/ or in my case and many of my family's members...aspergers. without treatment life has been one hell of a ride for me, near 50 years later i was properly diagnosed and trialed meds to best suit me and mine.. anti anxiety and AADHD meds allow me to(wantingly) complete the ONLY treatment known to succeed, a variation of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy designed especially for BPD, Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, I'm still awaiting acceptance into the course,but as in any medical benefit i receive, am very grateful for it and patience is a virtue concerning public hospitals, grateful is a privilege. so i will suggest and hope not to offend in anyway, find a psychiatrists whom, with patience and persistance, will listen to your diagnostic reports (no one knows ya body and mind better) and as in any intricate engineering marvel , help YOU troubleshoot. 30years of non diagnostic aid, 10 years one psychiatrist's misdiagnosis and 8 years f another before taking overvthe reigns myself with the aid of my GP and the Internet we read and learnt together before referring to a psychiatrist of choice for med trials and any other idea I MIGHT HAVE to help with the anxiety barriers i felt were the most important to eliviate one by one, first was my co-dependant major separation anxiety suffering lapdog, keeping me from too much public interaction anxiety causing IEDs Intermittent Explosive Disorder, which is what I/me read symptoms of in your posts.i think SYZ or MAYDAYA (other members of this thread) can also relate to that one, these seemingly small disorders ,i refer to as Side Disorders, which are also a good place to start, remembering that baby steps realistic goals are a must and you mustn't allow any one to belittle what small achievement you could only manage this day, month, year, every step is your achievement, and i cry and scream and smile and laugh and fade in n out of depression and suicidal thoughts and asperations every day sometimes ALL in one day ...but finally all these years later, i see achievements that need no other person's recognition than mine. and that is all you can ask of yourself. please private message me and the others if you would like to discuss or vent just quietly for now. no judgement here,, plenty of love and support though, and no sorry i am a hetro with emotional, verbal and mental filtering blockers giving a myriad sexual preference impressions as we say here Keep Up the Good Fight
ps another tell tale of BPD is the ability to council with expertise and the inhabilty to take heed of said council.

[Tui2]

Why the good ones??

For the last 4-5 weeks i have been trying to get out to the country to see my 58yo mate of mine of the last 30 odd years.. who's cancer relapsed after 5years and is now in Trundle NSW nursing home after 3 months ago finding out its in his spine, and in that time he went from walking with a stick to not being able to stand to transfer from chair to toilet.
This has had more of an emotional affect on me than the last 12 years of caring for my parents and recently losing my step father and having my mother be placed in a nursing home by Health Care Assessors.
Which by the way tipped the other end of the scale
Knowing that unless I drive another 18hrs there n back tomorrow, I more than likely will not see him alive again has stirred my otherwise dormant extra senses.
What?! Very sleep deprived as I only just returned. Sad though eh
.

[BENT_8]

Guys i have a confession to make, i did something today which is completely out of character and something im not only far from proud about, but rather sick in the stomach over.
To set the scene i will provide some background.

For the past 3 weeks i have been getting bombarded with text messages from my recently turned 16yr old Daughter about how she hates her school etc. etc.
She's a really bright kid, graduated top of her class afrom primary school and well respected amongst the school community for being a leader and positive role model.
I couldnt understand why she all of a sudden changed her attitude towards her studies, well on the weekend it came out as she broke down and exposed to us the extent of the issue.
She's been having problems at School with a few girls to the point of being petrified to go.

It started off with petty stuff over boys and such. She's recently met a lad and they've started seeing each other, its her first boyfriend and she should be over the moon but unfortunately it has ignited a situation which has escelated quite rapidly to the point where over the weekend she was subject to some of the most vicious abuse i have ever had the displeasure of having to read.
My Daughter suffers severe acne, just as i did when i was a teen and went through the same things she's going through now. Now im a firm believer in sticks and stones and all that, so much of what i hear i try to dismiss as typical school yard bitchiness, but when you attack a girls appearance and tell her she should put herself to sleep and never wake up it steps over a line and cannot be unsaid no matter how remorseful the perpetrators are with hindsight.

When i woke this morning to my Daughter screaming and shaking uncontrollably at the thought of going to school today it broke my heart, no kid should be petrified of going to school.
I managed to calm her down and get her to have a shower. Whilst in the shower i checked the morning news online and came across the story of the 13yr old boy who left a heartwrenching suicide note before ending his own life over bullying.
As i sat there reading it, my own childhood came rushing back and i remembered how i felt when i was ridiculed for the same stuff she's copping it over. I remembered how i bottled it all up and had thoughts of suicide or running away and how i felt too embarassed to confront it and bottled it up.

Well when i got to the school my Daughter began shaking again when she saw 3 of the girls.
I just snapped, i dont know why, cant remember, nor can i remember what i said but i know i told them what i thought and that if it ddidnt stop i would see it dealt with accordingly, plus a few expetives for good measure.
I also told them i had nothing against them, i dont even know them, but they cannot get away with such venemous attacks without reprocussion. I didnt touch them or go within a few meters, but they knew i was enraged.

I then got back in the car and realised what i had just done and felt sick in the stomach. Im not a confrontational person normally, would rather avoid a situation than instigate it.

I drove around for a few minutes, seemed like a few minutes anyway, probably closer to an hour, before i returned to the school and booked an appointment with the most senior person i could talk to.
I wanted to face up to the school and show them that although im remorseful for stepping over the boundaries of whats right and wrong, but also to bring to their attention why an ordsinary dude would snap under the circumstances.
The bloke i spoke to was fully understanding and went on to explain how bullying was such a huge issue and that they were working towards bringing down the statistics.
I listened for a while, much of what he said was exactly what you want to hear as a parent but i had to stop him and share a few things.
Firstly, their talk of suspensions and exclusions is a joke, kids embrace it as an opportunity for a holiday and to catch up on Xbox.
Secondly, the reach of the schools responsibilities cannot streatch to what happens on the weekend, to which he agreed.
So despite him assuring me that bullying was on the decrease, i highlighted the fact that the kids simply shift their MO to outside the school environment, who's counting those stats.

In the end i offered my sincere appology for my actions and made it clear that i would stand guilty as charged to face any reprocussions, but that at the same time i will not sit quietly and wait for my Daughter to become a statistic, hold a candle lit vigil and set up a fund me page.

Flame suit on.

[Ross 1]

I wouldn't have even apologised, you have done nothing more than a loving parent would do. Hopefully they go home and tell their parents so the whole matter comes to light and they can see what their daughters are up to. I highly doubt there will be any repercussions as it will highlight how little the school has done and they don't like their failings pointed out. We went through something similar with our eldest, although it was only brief, I was picking her up from school one day and she pointed out her bullies, 2 girls and a boy, so in front of a couple of their parents I loudly told my daughter that if they ever threatened her or hurt her again to punch them in the face and keep hitting till they are unconscious. No one bullied her again, the parents were too embarrassed to say anything and the school apologised for not acting sooner. I hope your daughter comes through this brief period in life with a positive attitude and a smile on her face and she will know her dad loves her and will protect her any way he can.

[Smoke Pursuit]

Originally Posted by BENT_8

Guys i have a confession to make, i did something today which is completely out of character and something im not only far from proud about, but rather sick in the stomach over.
To set the scene i will provide some background.

For the past 3 weeks i have been getting bombarded with text messages from my recently turned 16yr old Daughter about how she hates her school etc. etc.
She's a really bright kid, graduated top of her class afrom primary school and well respected amongst the school community for being a leader and positive role model.
I couldnt understand why she all of a sudden changed her attitude towards her studies, well on the weekend it came out as she broke down and exposed to us the extent of the issue.
She's been having problems at School with a few girls to the point of being petrified to go.

It started off with petty stuff over boys and such. She's recently met a lad and they've started seeing each other, its her first boyfriend and she should be over the moon but unfortunately it has ignited a situation which has escelated quite rapidly to the point where over the weekend she was subject to some of the most vicious abuse i have ever had the displeasure of having to read.
My Daughter suffers severe acne, just as i did when i was a teen and went through the same things she's going through now. Now im a firm believer in sticks and stones and all that, so much of what i hear i try to dismiss as typical school yard bitchiness, but when you attack a girls appearance and tell her she should put herself to sleep and never wake up it steps over a line and cannot be unsaid no matter how remorseful the perpetrators are with hindsight.

When i woke this morning to my Daughter screaming and shaking uncontrollably at the thought of going to school today it broke my heart, no kid should be petrified of going to school.
I managed to calm her down and get her to have a shower. Whilst in the shower i checked the morning news online and came across the story of the 13yr old boy who left a heartwrenching suicide note before ending his own life over bullying.
As i sat there reading it, my own childhood came rushing back and i remembered how i felt when i was ridiculed for the same stuff she's copping it over. I remembered how i bottled it all up and had thoughts of suicide or running away and how i felt too embarassed to confront it and bottled it up.

Well when i got to the school my Daughter began shaking again when she saw 3 of the girls.
I just snapped, i dont know why, cant remember, nor can i remember what i said but i know i told them what i thought and that if it ddidnt stop i would see it dealt with accordingly, plus a few expetives for good measure.
I also told them i had nothing against them, i dont even know them, but they cannot get away with such venemous attacks without reprocussion. I didnt touch them or go within a few meters, but they knew i was enraged.

I then got back in the car and realised what i had just done and felt sick in the stomach. Im not a confrontational person normally, would rather avoid a situation than instigate it.

I drove around for a few minutes, seemed like a few minutes anyway, probably closer to an hour, before i returned to the school and booked an appointment with the most senior person i could talk to.
I wanted to face up to the school and show them that although im remorseful for stepping over the boundaries of whats right and wrong, but also to bring to their attention why an ordsinary dude would snap under the circumstances.
The bloke i spoke to was fully understanding and went on to explain how bullying was such a huge issue and that they were working towards bringing down the statistics.
I listened for a while, much of what he said was exactly what you want to hear as a parent but i had to stop him and share a few things.
Firstly, their talk of suspensions and exclusions is a joke, kids embrace it as an opportunity for a holiday and to catch up on Xbox.
Secondly, the reach of the schools responsibilities cannot streatch to what happens on the weekend, to which he agreed.
So despite him assuring me that bullying was on the decrease, i highlighted the fact that the kids simply shift their MO to outside the school environment, who's counting those stats.

In the end i offered my sincere appology for my actions and made it clear that i would stand guilty as charged to face any reprocussions, but that at the same time i will not sit quietly and wait for my Daughter to become a statistic, hold a candle lit vigil and set up a fund me page.

Flame suit on.

This rings pretty close to home.

I was bullied my entire school life. One kid was an absolute ***** to me the whole time I knew him, stole stuff off me and just bullied me to no end. I remember one day my mum dropped me off and confronted him and abused the F*&^ out of him. It caused some dramas but the school had his history on file and knew what he was like. It was more about his mother then wanting to take action against my mum that was the scary part.

I think in circumstances like these your better off taking your frustration out on the school principal and holding them accountable. In the end my father took control of my situation and used to give the school principal a terrible time until proper action was taken, things were never perfect but I survived.

Any decent parent will defend their child till the cows come home. I don't blame you for what you did, I just don't think its probably the best solution to the problem.

[bingoTE50]

My son is 23 , he was verbally abused after a game of soccer by this guy late 30's threatening to belt him ,not that my son initiated anything this guy is known for it apparently , just a bully . I was also there at the game and told this guy to pull he's head in. He walked 15m over to me, gave me a shove , so I belted him , then the next guy who come in swinging, which turned out to be he's son. My son had never been in a fight,I made it known to him its not the answer, I have had a lot of fights ,but not for a long time , 20 years or more. I take anti-depressants these days to keep me even. But this day i thought this guy was over the top and once he got personal with my son , I thought , nah , time to teach this clown a lesson.He ended up going to hospital apparently. Am I proud of myself , not entirely , but hopefully this guy and he's son will recognize they cannot just threaten people. At 53 I never thought I would raising my hands again , but no-one threatens my family .So I understand completely how you feel.

[LTDHO]

Why do other people take it personally when you are feeling 'down' and get angry with you because of it?

[TheSneakiness]

Originally Posted by LTDHO

Why do other people take it personally when you are feeling 'down' and get angry with you because of it?

Lack of understanding, I get this often with extroverted people. Usually this ends with well he's such a sad sack, so I don't want to socialise with you.

[BLUEYBA]

Originally Posted by LTDHO

Why do other people take it personally when you are feeling 'down' and get angry with you because of it?

That's a really good question. Its happened with me as well.
I'm only guessing in saying this but maybe they see it as a reflection on them. It can be very draining and frustrating to see and continually try and lift a person who is down. Some people just don't fully understand what is happening with the person who is feeling down. When you see a loved one in pain and you have done as much as you can to help but see no change they may feel that their help is not appreciated
I'm sure others could add more and they wouldn't be wrong.

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by LTDHO

Why do other people take it personally when you are feeling 'down' and get angry with you because of it?

as bluey n rapid suggested, lack of a) understanding. b)caring c)reflection d) spite.?
i know c) to be the correct answer when it comes to my family and why they can't or won't get their head around my disorder, ever since I was diagnosed correctly, I've gone out of my way to explain it to the people i cared eniugh enough of to want to do so. yet most after i gave them a 15 page print out of my disorder from history to present , hoping it would possibly ease my anxiety to enable me to attend birthdays and xmas' again if loved ones now know how to receive me, ...... ?? WRONG , haven't heard from most again and my sister seems to find it easier to tell people (before i even get a chance to meet them, ie. nurses , solicitors etc.) to them that i have schizophrenia, easier to make an excuse for the bad times instead of supporting the good times therefore assisting in my rehabilitation. instead its made them angrier that there is reasonable explanations and the green eyed monster has taken over my sister (very personal back story to this but..) she is saying things and reacting out of spite which in return has worked as i will continue to avoid family celebrations.
annnnd scene. thanks for letting me vent.

[sneaky]

I haven't contributed much to this thread, but had a particularly crappy few days this week.

I'm currently swapping meds from pristiq to valdoxan to try and get away from some of the side effects the pristiq was having with me. I think the pristiq is wearing off much quicker than the valdoxan is kicking in and i was having some withdrawals.

Add this to a massive shakeup at work - approx 25 out of 60 people I used to work with have been given notice that they are possibly losing their jobs, 17 of the 25 will lose their job, the others will return to work after interviews and rankings are carried out. I still work at the same company, just in a different role but I still see the guys everyday and interact with them. and this was just the guys in my trade, i think there will be around 50 - 60 people leaving from my location.

and add to all that marriage difficulties, some real, some in my head and probably all seeming a lot worse to me than they are.

This resulted in a few late night, drawn out, difficult discussions with my wife and also a few days off work after trying to explain the situation to my understanding manager. I did leave work early after discussing it with my manger and he called a few hours later to check on me, I also received a few calls/chats from an older/wiser (than me) a co-worker to check on me. nice to know there are supportive people at work, and I have a fair amount of sick leave up my sleeve.

hope the new stuff kicks in soon and I can move on and start feeling better

[BLUEYBA]

Originally Posted by sneaky

I haven't contributed much to this thread, but had a particularly crappy few days this week.

I'm currently swapping meds from pristiq to valdoxan to try and get away from some of the side effects the pristiq was having with me. I think the pristiq is wearing off much quicker than the valdoxan is kicking in and i was having some withdrawals.

Add this to a massive shakeup at work - approx 25 out of 60 people I used to work with have been given notice that they are possibly losing their jobs, 17 of the 25 will lose their job, the others will return to work after interviews and rankings are carried out. I still work at the same company, just in a different role but I still see the guys everyday and interact with them. and this was just the guys in my trade, i think there will be around 50 - 60 people leaving from my location.



and add to all that marriage difficulties, some real, some in my head and probably all seeming a lot worse to me than they are.

This resulted in a few late night, drawn out, difficult discussions with my wife and also a few days off work after trying to explain the situation to my understanding manager. I did leave work early after discussing it with my manger and he called a few hours later to check on me, I also received a few calls/chats from an older/wiser (than me) a co-worker to check on me. nice to know there are supportive people at work, and I have a fair amount of sick leave up my sleeve.

hope the new stuff kicks in soon and I can move on and start feeling better

hang in there. things will come good with the medication.