Depression, Anxiety

[sneaky]

in theory, yes.

I know at times I have found the idea of getting off the lounge/bed to eat and function as a person all seemed too difficult.

The good old 'just go for a walk' was never going to happen.

even though I had read the books, heard the doctors, done all my homework and knew what was good for me, sometimes it was just overwhelming to even consider it.

thankfully for me I haven't been in that state for a while now and I can pick up and act on the signs fairly early when I start heading in that direction. For others that isn't the case, hell for me it might not be the case again at some point.


good luck out there everyone

[DFB FGXR6]

I think sometimes the word "exercise" gets overloaded with expectation that someone should be pounding the gym or running 4000km a week.

I'm a big believer of being "active" instead. That doesn't necessarily mean going to the gym, running, walking, riding a bike, swimming ect. It does though include things that make you happy or entertain your mind. Be that gardening, working on your car, playing with the dog, cooking......whatever it is, do it and do it as often as you can. For me, its washing cars and writing about washing cars.........its a distraction that entertains my mind and body. I do appreciate that sometimes, even those activities can be hard for those drowned in depression.

Personally, I properly exercised far too much for a long time, on top of a very active job, I got down to 60kg at one point. I do sometimes miss the satisfaction from being so mobile, but I am also listening to my body more.

The key thing is, if you don't want to "exercise", find something to keep you "active".

[Citroënbender]

Originally Posted by DFB FGXR6

The key thing is, if you don't want to "exercise", find something to keep you "active".

That’s a far better perspective IMO, because it implicitly leans more toward happiness.

Yesterday I had to admit a family member to hospital with a combination of physical and mental illness. It wasn’t the first time, it (sadly) won’t be the last, and they’re far from unique. Keeping active would have greatly helped their condition, but as per my previous post you cannot compel someone beyond attempting to persuade or motivate.

Why do I know it will happen again? Because the health system is incapable of coping with complex cases that need a lifetime of tailored management. Just when a rapport is starting to build with a social worker, or interest is blossoming in an activity, the standout person leaves, a class is reconstituted to be inferior, sessions are cancelled. So the person is back to square one and there’s no time for a case worker to sincerely and diligently engage to see how the loose ends may be picked up again.

In no way does it help someone in that position to lay a further burden of presumption, that they should be exercising more. I’m not apologising if this sounds abrasive, but trite rubbish generally does not help people with mental health difficulties, and people should refrain from posting it.

[T3rminator]

Don't forget to exercise the most important muscle....no not that one...the one on your noggin.

On the physical exercise, set yourself up for success. Don't wait until you are down in the dumps to try and phsyc yourself up to move. When you are feeling good, start planning how you can make yourself take the initial step when you are down.

For me, its asking myself "How would I feel if I didn't walk / exercise the dog today, and he is gone forever tomorrow?". Thats enough to get me into the car. I then take a particular route to the beach, less traffic, an enjoyable drive. 30 mins later I'm at the beach, with other dogs, and some times...good people, around. 15 mins later, I'm feeling a million dollars.

Gym, I go first thing in the morning, within 30 mins of waking up. I find if I wait until noon or after work, there is a 99% chance "I won't feel like it". Find a way to make it work for you.

[CoupeKing]

For someone starting out you want a low-impact exercise and long walks in a stress-free environment are ideal for several reasons, and it's great for circulation and keeps your cortisol levels down. But start off at 20 minute walks and gradually extend them and after that if you will, test the waters so to speak for replacement activities.

I do a daily ( when I'm not working day shift ) walk of a minimum 10k and are considering slowly increasing that to 15. And I do that on an empty stomach. I'm back to one meal per day with wholefoods and zero snacks or beverages with sugar etc.

Of course I'm not doing monk mode and I like to live a little but once you '' go back '' you not only see certain patterns but you realise that most of our problems are coming from our diet/lifestyle and all the processed crap we eat/drink. Three meals per day of highly processed junk, plus snacks in between? = very problematic.

I never documented anything it was just all trial and error, but plenty of research. From memory I think it took me close to 18 months to get to one meal a day - meaning eventually that one meal would keep me satiated for approx 24 hours. I have fasted slightly longer than that but be careful here, small steps, baby steps. Go too hard at the start you will most likely crash and burn.

Time is key here. Most of us with a busy lifestyle simply can't find the time. So quick and easy food is the go-to. And I've been guilty and charged with that since I can remember. I ate fruit loops as kid in the 80's and most parents thought that was healthy...LOL.

I truely believe that getting your gut right is key to getting your head right.

Plus I have a few other hidden practices ( none of which I can take credit for ) that I will divulge.

[blueoval]

Its great that some here are recommending 'activity' as a source of help. I see it a lot like DFB said. Any activity is better than no activity. Keeping busy doing something you used to enjoy or wanted to get into is a great way to help stimulate the mind and body. These things no matter how small produce endorphins.

As others have said, reducing your take out food intake and alcohol consumption makes a huge difference on energy levels and mental clarity.

Getting a good nights sleep. Drinking lots of water. Meditation. All these things eventually add up to better mental health.

The hardest part though is actually getting started and setting a realistic routine. Even better is having a friend or partner who can assist in your progress.

[mondeomatureguy]

Hi Guys,
I havent been on here for a while and thats because ive had problems with my wife of late.
I keep very active lots of walking, my work keeps me fit as i now work in the Cleaning industry and have done for nearly 3 years.

My wifes on Medication and she's put on a stack of weight. I was and i am still worried about her weight and told her so many times and all i get back " i will do something about it" which hasnt happened.

She sees a Doctor in Sydney once a month but not a GP and this month cancelled her face to face appointment and instead had a tele conference with her.

Any how i hope you guys are doing good and looking after yourselves and its always nice to read your posts.

cheers

[DFB FGXR6]

Originally Posted by mondeomatureguy

Hi Guys,
I havent been on here for a while and thats because ive had problems with my wife of late.
I keep very active lots of walking, my work keeps me fit as i now work in the Cleaning industry and have done for nearly 3 years.

My wifes on Medication and she's put on a stack of weight. I was and i am still worried about her weight and told her so many times and all i get back " i will do something about it" which hasnt happened.

She sees a Doctor in Sydney once a month but not a GP and this month cancelled her face to face appointment and instead had a tele conference with her.

Any how i hope you guys are doing good and looking after yourselves and its always nice to read your posts.

cheers

Sad to read that and I hope you are coping.

I have a family member who resists/rejects help, to the point where it's led me down my own path of problems. It gets to a point where, after trying literally everything over a number of years, that it's ultimately the persons choice. At the end of the day, it's up to them to except they have a problem and allow others to help. Until then, you are wasting your effort and mental capacity.

That will sound harsh, and it is, but so is continuing on your own without reaching out and attempting to overcome your problems................dragging others down with them.

Stay strong, I know how hard it is.

[Itsme]

Originally Posted by mondeomatureguy

Hi Guys,
I havent been on here for a while and thats because ive had problems with my wife of late.
I keep very active lots of walking, my work keeps me fit as i now work in the Cleaning industry and have done for nearly 3 years.

My wifes on Medication and she's put on a stack of weight. I was and i am still worried about her weight and told her so many times and all i get back " i will do something about it" which hasnt happened.

She sees a Doctor in Sydney once a month but not a GP and this month cancelled her face to face appointment and instead had a tele conference with her.

Any how i hope you guys are doing good and looking after yourselves and its always nice to read your posts.

cheers

I was in the same position as your wife wanting to exercise but not really trying. My wife got me to go for short walks with her, eventually building up to longer walks, now we both go for daily walks for about an hour which I must say has helped me immensely in reducing weight and keeping me fit.
I quite enjoy walking now to keep control of my health issues.

My point is try to ease her slowly into exercising and see how she goes, best of luck.

[BENT_8]

I used to walk between 5 and 10km per day every day and it worked wonders for both my waistline and mental health.
Then i got lazy and started skipping days and eventually weeks, haven't charged my fit bit in 12 months now i'd say, I can certainly see and feel the effects of not going.
Spoke to a specialist about it and he suggested finding a podcast subject I like and listening to keep me engaged.

Haven't tried it yet to be honest, after working 60+ hour weeks all I want to do when I get home is sleep which isnt great considering I sit on my **** all day at work but whilst my job isnt physically demanding it is mentally draining due to the concentration levels required.

[buggerlugs]

Originally Posted by BENT_8

I used to walk between 5 and 10km per day every day and it worked wonders for both my waistline and mental health.
Then i got lazy and started skipping days and eventually weeks, haven't charged my fit bit in 12 months now i'd say, I can certainly see and feel the effects of not going.
Spoke to a specialist about it and he suggested finding a podcast subject I like and listening to keep me engaged.

Haven't tried it yet to be honest, after working 60+ hour weeks all I want to do when I get home is sleep which isnt great considering I sit on my **** all day at work but whilst my job isnt physically demanding it is mentally draining due to the concentration levels required.

Get a dog. And walk it. Way better company than any human........

[FoxtrotGolfXray 5.0]

Originally Posted by mondeomatureguy

Hi Guys,
I havent been on here for a while and thats because ive had problems with my wife of late.
I keep very active lots of walking, my work keeps me fit as i now work in the Cleaning industry and have done for nearly 3 years.

My wifes on Medication and she's put on a stack of weight. I was and i am still worried about her weight and told her so many times and all i get back " i will do something about it" which hasnt happened.

She sees a Doctor in Sydney once a month but not a GP and this month cancelled her face to face appointment and instead had a tele conference with her.

Any how i hope you guys are doing good and looking after yourselves and its always nice to read your posts.

cheers

Just my two bob's worth MMG, and I may be reading between the lines too much here and have the wrong end of the stick, and if so, I apologise. Is it the medication that's adding to your wife's weight issue? It's often a side effect for many medications. If so, then telling her she has a weight problem may not be the solution. What you need to do is find out what motivates her. Clearly pointing out there's an issue is not the answer. Perhaps she is feeling down because of having to be on the medication. Perhaps she knows about the weight gain issue and is embarrassed to be seen out in public because of it. Finding out why she is reluctant to do anything about it is the key here. Once you know what the barriers are, you can then propose solutions that work around those and put her in to a position that she is comfortable with.

One approach you can use is to talk to her calmly (right place, right time) about the subject and ask her as to how she feels about it. Is she concerned about it? If she is, then you can ask her what support you can provide her that will help her. That gives her the option of telling you what she feels she needs, rather than having it told to her by someone she feels may not know how she is feeling. Be supportive through this process and don't judge her at all, as she may shut down completely if she feels you are. Explain to her that you are concerned about her well being (both physically and mentally) and that you just want to discuss it with her to see what you can do to help her. be compassionate and express that openly.

Another option you have is to speak to her doctor. Her doctor is not likely to disclose any of your wife's issues due to patient confidentiality, but you can discuss with her your concerns. The doctor can then ask the questions I've outlined above, and then can make some suggestions to your wife about to how to go about managing the issues. The doctor won't be able to tell you any of this tho, again due to confidentiality.

The mental health first aid course I did uses the pneumonic ALGEE to assist with mental health issues:

A pproach the person, assess and assist with any crisis
L isten and communicate non-judgementally
G ive support and information
E ncourage the person to get appropriate professional help
E ncourage other supports

This is the basis for the advice I've given and seems to be a good model for you to follow in your case.

It's not an easy process you are going through, mate, but I wish you and your wife the best. Remember, you're doing this because you care. Don't give up caring and make sure you express your level of care to your wife. She needs the support at the moment and if she feels like she's being forced into something she doesn't like or feel comfortable with, she'll resist. if your wife knows you care, then there's a good chance that you'll make it through this together.

I hope that some of this, at least, is of use. Good luck!

[FTE217]

Just take care of yourself people, this world is turning upsaide down more than ever.
I'm sorry mondeoguy, I have my wife going through a roller coaster the last 6/7yrs - I just keep looking at the bright side every single morning I wake up.
As mentioned, everyone needs to keep busy, be it business and pleasure to keep the mind healthy......
The old saying it could be worse for there is always people in far worse positions as we all know.
Today is another good day.

[FTE217]

I look at sleep more and more as time wasted, I seem to have power naps more than any full blooded sleep for quite a few years now.
TBH I hardly have more than 4hrs IF I do sleep well.
Say for eg I have had a late night, get to bed around 2/3am, I still get up like clock work 6/6.30am - a sleep in is like 7.30am
In the end I look at it as - your a long time dead (I'll be asleep for a loooong time), I just keep being productive my mind seems to not shut down for too long as you gather.
I love getting things done whilst the wife is asleep and daughter.
Been used to be up crack of dawn since I was a teen.

[FTE217]

Hey DFB, I hope your down mood isn't from where I'm thinking this came from ?
(I have noticed you haven't been around as much since)
If so mate, I know we pm'd please turn your cheek, its one arrogant tossers opinion, you got to accept some just don't appreciate a honest different POV.
Chin up mate, your a champion fella that persons loss but ours when your not around here as much.

[FTE217]

Interceptor, I'm very sorry of recent recent experience and losing Dad.
Condolense's hope your pain pass's by not that you ever lose it all when losing a treasured loved one.
What a time you've gone through, hope your ok, I got nothing to complain about compared to what you've just gone through.
Cheers to you.

[Syndrome]

I've been a bit foul now and then over the last few weeks. What has assisted me get out of that rut is reduce the amount of stimulation and go outside for a walk during my lunch break (my job is desk bound behind a monitor and on the phone).

[CoupeKing]

Originally Posted by Syndrome

I've been a bit foul now and then over the last few weeks. What has assisted me get out of that rut is reduce the amount of stimulation and go outside for a walk during my lunch break (my job is desk bound behind a monitor and on the phone).

If you're getting gains from that then stick to and explore it.

I'm from Melbourne and usually about this time of year for the most part it's overcast, so I can still be active outside but I ain't getting that vitamin D hit as often. It's called the winter blues. And it just doesn't apply to us simpletons but all of nature.

Ever noticed when it's a blue-skied sunny day in 18 or 8 degree weather the birds are chirping, the butterfly's are landing, you're plants/flowers come alive?

There's a reason why our highest population's are around the equator....THE SUN.

[FoxtrotGolfXray 5.0]

Some may have seen in another thread that myself and some of my colleagues are participating in The Pushup Challenge, an exercise based challenge that both raises funds for mental health support agencies as well as highlighting mental health facts. We are each completing 3144 pushups across the 23 days of the event in June. 3144 represents the number of people who suicided in Australia in 2021.

Each day a mental health fact is shared. Today is day 8 of the challenge and I thought I'd share today's fact in here as I know that some in here suffer from anxiety, so this may be of assistance.

Journaling
Day 8: 153 push-ups
Journaling for just 15 minutes, three days a week could significantly improve your mental health.

A study conducted on people with heightened anxiety symptoms showed that journaling for this short time weekly does big things. Why? Spending this time logging thoughts was associated with reduced anxiety and mental distress. It also can lead to improved levels of resilience. Journaling has been shown to be especially effective in reducing symptoms of PTSD.

Journaling is successful in improving our general mental health as it can assist in bringing awareness to our feelings and experiences, which can help us to rationalise and regulate our emotions. It has also been shown to reduce stress and anxiety by providing an outlet for intrusive thoughts.

Over time, consistent journaling allows us to identify stressors or triggers in our lives and can assist us to know ourselves on a deeper level. Journaling is also a great opportunity for positive self-talk and affirmations. Give it a shot. Journal in a way that suits you.

Research indicates that putting pen to paper, old-school style, can aid in processing our feelings better than via a screen, but there are many journaling apps available for a more convenient option. Journaling is most effective when it feels natural to you. There are no rules when it comes to journaling. You can write about your goals, what you’re grateful for, what’s causing you stress, to-do lists, thoughts and feelings or just a general reflection of each day.

[FoxtrotGolfXray 5.0]

Anxiety
Day 9: 168 push-ups
Anxiety is the most common mental health disorder, affecting 16.8% of Australians aged 16-85 each year. That equates to 3.3 million Australians living with anxiety.

Anxiety is more than just feeling stressed or worried. It’s normal to feel stressed or anxious when we’re under pressure, but these feelings usually subside once the stressful situation has passed. Anxiety disorders typically involve feelings of tension, distress or nervousness, which don’t go away or may not have a clear cause. A person may avoid situations they believe cause these feelings, potentially limiting their interactions with the wider world and impacting the way they live.

Females are almost twice as likely to experience anxiety, as are younger age groups, and people who identify as LGBTQIA+ - however it can affect anyone.

For those experiencing anxiety, there are many strategies that you can use to help manage it. Mindfulness, slow breathing, keeping physically active, spending time in nature and enjoying a healthy diet are some activities that research shows can help. There are also many treatments for anxiety, including therapy and medication.

If anxiety is an issue for you, talk to your GP to explore treatment options best for you or visit the Lifeline Support Toolkit for Anxiety.

[LG17]

Have to go down to Brisbane for a medical tribunal today.
My wife has been bullied terribly at work by underlings who have never even worked with her, all on the false accusations of one of them. She has been off work since March last year and is not in a good way. These underlings are responsible for for the Principal and 2 very Senior teachers being on Workcover long term and 2 other Senior teachers transferring to other schools. The worst part is EQ has done absolutely nothing about it despite all the evidence being presented to them. My wife has Adjustment disorder with anxious and depressed mood with Panic disorder. The last 18 months have been hell.

[FoxtrotGolfXray 5.0]

Originally Posted by LG17

Have to go down to Brisbane for a medical tribunal today.
My wife has been bullied terribly at work by underlings who have never even worked with her, all on the false accusations of one of them. She has been off work since March last year and is not in a good way. These underlings are responsible for for the Principal and 2 very Senior teachers being on Workcover long term and 2 other Senior teachers transferring to other schools. The worst part is EQ has done absolutely nothing about it despite all the evidence being presented to them. My wife has Adjustment disorder with anxious and depressed mood with Panic disorder. The last 18 months have been hell.

That's terrible, LG. So sorry to hear of your wife's experience. And the impact it has upon you and the rest of your family group and friends.

Those who can't see that bullying is an issue have trouble seeing the flow-on effects to such a large number of people around the focus person.

It seems like you already have a path to go down, but if that doesn't yield the result you're after, please don't forget about WHS laws. I'm not overly familiar with the national laws as Victoria has their own, slightly unique legislation, but the WHS legislation provides your wife with protection from this sort of activity in the workplace. It may be an avenue that you can get the employer to take some action on as they have a legal obligation to protect all their employees from these sorts of things. Having a chat with your local WHS authority may be of some use.

Good luck, mate, I hope it all goes well for you and your wife.

[LG17]

Education Qld, my wife's employer has done nothing.
Depending on what happens we are considering taking some sort of legal action when all this stuff is over. At the moment we are just getting every penny we can through Workcover and her Super.
It was quite daunting at the tribunal although I must say, the doctors were quite good.
They started out by saying we don't want to upset you about the incidents so we will focus on the now. We have read all the reports thoroughly and don't need to put you through that again. We find out in 2 weeks as to what decision they come up with, then go from there with the assistance of her Union's solicitors.

[DFB FGXR6]

I've spent the last week in a foggy haze, indifferent and just going through the motions. Get up, go to work, shower, go to sleep. Work is simply a process of passing the hours. Every interaction is painful, I just want to hide so I don't have to fake it. There has to be more to life than this.

[Citroënbender]

That really doesn’t sound nice. I hope your situation changes for the better.

[mad2]

Originally Posted by DFB FGXR6

I've spent the last week in a foggy haze, indifferent and just going through the motions. Get up, go to work, shower, go to sleep. Work is simply a process of passing the hours. Every interaction is painful, I just want to hide so I don't have to fake it. There has to be more to life than this.

agree with Mr. Bender DFB ..... not a good place to be nor put up with.


LG that is so..o much crap for your missus .. it ain't funny

hope it turns the corner shortly for the betterer for you DFB as well as you and your missus LG..


cheers

[CoupeKing]

Originally Posted by DFB FGXR6

I've spent the last week in a foggy haze, indifferent and just going through the motions. Get up, go to work, shower, go to sleep. Work is simply a process of passing the hours. Every interaction is painful, I just want to hide so I don't have to fake it. There has to be more to life than this.

It happens, that's why we're called men. You'll have your ups and downs but just keep grinding and fight the fight.

Stand your ground. Eat well. Have a long-term goal supported by small steps.

Get out of your comfort zone.... I don't mean taking a p**s on an electric fence

[LG17]

Workcover isn't interested in you getting better with the right help. All they are interested in is getting you off their books. It's a very frustrating and degrading process when it's your mind they're playing with, much, much different to a physical injury. My wife is currently sitting by the fire shivering (the house is nice and warm) and crying. It's getting very difficult to know what to do. I've just made an appointment with our GP for tomorrow arvo and told her to expect it to be a very long consultation. Luckily she is very good. Here's hoping she can come up with something to help. I'm not that healthy and live on morphine daily for pain. It's come to me that I have to hide it as I get a month's supply at a time.

[BENT_8]

Originally Posted by LG17

Workcover isn't interested in you getting better with the right help. All they are interested in is getting you off their books. It's a very frustrating and degrading process when it's your mind they're playing with, much, much different to a physical injury. My wife is currently sitting by the fire shivering (the house is nice and warm) and crying. It's getting very difficult to know what to do. I've just made an appointment with our GP for tomorrow arvo and told her to expect it to be a very long consultation. Luckily she is very good. Here's hoping she can come up with something to help. I'm not that healthy and live on morphine daily for pain. It's come to me that I have to hide it as I get a month's supply at a time.

Its a ***** of a system and you are spot on, a 'no blame' system whereby they arent interested in hearing your Wifes story or understanding it, just if they have to compensate for it which she'll have to prove.

My Wife has just been through it, she watched me go through it 20yrs ago and admitted she didnt realise how exhausting it is until you actually go through the system.
Ive always maintained its better in the long run to cut your losses and get out of it with whatever you can and get on with life.

My Wife worked in aged care at the same site for 15yrs, was as reliable as an employer could ask for, then they changed their rostering structure which put a heap of extra physical stress on her, she ended up with tennis elbow and golfers elbow on both sides with serious tears as well as torn shoulders and wrist. Work cover didnt care about the how or why, just kept sending her to different 'specialists' until they found one favourable to them and judged accordingly.
In the end it consumed her so we sat down one night and said take whatever you can get, accept that your time is up with that employer and move on.

Shes found a part time job now and is in a much better place.
Hope it works out for you both.

[LG17]

It's already been proved and accepted by them and she will never work again.
Now I'm just trying to figure out the best way to get money for us to live on as she is still 6 years away from retirement.