GT0132 - sounds like you are a little anxious, mate, where you are is a credit to you in life with all that you've been thru - well done dude!.
I recommend you speak with your GP and ask for a referral to a psychologist mate, as you'd like to discuss some things. Remember that a GP is a general practitioner, and may (or may not) be psych trained, whilst they are a good sounding point/sounding board, they can't help like a psych can. Psychs study for years and have years of experience - mine got to the bottom of my issues after 3 discussions. She is very helpful indeed.
Couple of things to bear in mind - with anti-depressents.
1. They take a while to settle in (up to 6 weeks) before they begin to help.
2. Remember they are there to help you get over the stuff you need to work through with a psych or someone similar.
3. I tried Lexapro which made me really ill. So that didn't work, so I moved to Cymbalta which has helped me quite a bit (I am fairly introverted, whereas with the Cymbalta alot of this fear is managed)
4. Read up on the side effects of whatever med you are subscribed so you know what you're getting into. Mine at first leave you in a bit of an interesting place while on the lower dosage which passes, then you go to a higher dosage after 4 weeks.
Just remember that the meds are there to help you through the difficult stuff, I was hell bent against them but, after seeing the psych a few times she prodded at the core of me which left me utterly destroyed the next couple of days after my session, thats where the meds REALLY have helped me.
Someone mentioned in one of the posts its good to keep busy, but when their mind wanders then not so good. I too have practiced this for many MANY MANY years, its called avoidance, I'm not good at it I'm the ******* master at it
. Most people do it bear in mind.. Yes its nice to be busy but when I am left alone with my mind, I get myself in knots and REALLY mean in knots.
Anyway, hope my blurb helps. Remember the stats, one in five have mental health issues, two in five have anxiety and depression. And the stats are increasing in this sad ****** up society we live (exist) in.
EDIT : One more thing. Sleep is key. Absolutely imperative you get it. If you don't, break the cycle - get some sleeping meds to help you break the cycle - don't stay on them though. Use them to break the cycle to get back to a better sleeping routine. Again, like anti-depressents - they help re-establish things, not to be used long term. I have a thing called Imovane which works for me - it is prescription only.